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CUPID CUTS THE PACK, 
WOMAN DEALS, 
MAN DISCARDS 


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Cupfo’g $a cfc of Carbs 


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AN EPIGRAM FOR EVERY CARD 
A SAW FOR EVERY CHIP! 

♦ 

Pp ©Balter ipulitjer 

H 

♦ 

illustrations by ®beo Sulnumn 

♦ 

Luce and Company 
Boston 


> V » 


Copyright, 1908, 

LUCK & COMPANY 
Boston, Mass., U. S. A. 

C & 


♦ ♦ 

♦ v 

/C (e I £- / 

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$ubli«ter* 

BOSTON. MASS.. U. S, A 


To my best friends — 
my ejr-Ioves 

this little book is reminiscently 
inscribed ! 



CHAPTER I 


HEARTS 


DEALING WITH LOVE. ETC. 



CHAPTER II 

DIAMONDS 

DEALING WITH ENGAGEMENTS. ETC. 


CHAPTER III 


CHAPTER IV 


♦ 

SPADES 

A FEW DIGS 

♦ 


CLUBS 

KNOCKS IN GENERAL 




EXPLANATION 

NCE, Dan Cupid, feeling weary, 

Thought, “ A week off I will take ; 
For my busy season ’s over, 

And I see no hearts to break! ” 
So, forgetting lads and lassies, 

Leaving bow and arrows home, 

He set out for stream and meadow, 

’Neath fair Nature’s sunny dome. 

But this sort of recreation 

Soon on him began to pall, 

And he feared that his vacation 
Was a failure after all. 

So by way of relaxation — (!) 

(Force of habit! — truth be told!) — 

He spent hours in meditation, 

The results of which — behold / 

— Walter 'Pulitzer. 


© 



TABLE OF CONTENTS. 


HEARTS 



ACE . 

. . . As the game is played. 

TWO . 

. . . What a kiss contains. 

THREE 

. . . A kiss on the hand. 

FOUR . 

. . . When woman knocks. 

FIVE . 

. . . What fascinates a man. 

SIX . . 


SEVEN 

. . . Advice to the man. 

EIGHT 

. . . A good lover. 

NINE . 

. . . Cupid’s shadow. 

TEN . 

. . The “faith” cure. 

KNAVE 

. . . Winning the Jack-pot. 

QUEEN 

. . . A woman’s heart. 

KING 

. . . A man’s heart. 


DIAMONDS 


ACE. . . . 

Cost of a diamond. 

TWO . . . 

. The engagement ring. 

THREE . . 

. In choosing a wife. 

FOUR . . . 

. Marrying a poor girl. 

FIVE . . . 

. Settlements. 

SIX .... 

. “Playing her cards well.” 

SEVEN . . 

Before and after. 

EIGHT . . 

. A dreary lot. 

NINE . . . 

. Responsibilities of marriage 

TEN . . . 

. Power of the press. 

KNAVE . . 

. The bachelor’s Waterloo. 

QUEEN . . 

. How the bride should look. 

KING . . . 

. If women only knew ! 



TABLE OF CONTENTS — Continued. 


SPADES 


ACE. . 


. . Within an ace. 

TWO . 


. . Usefulness of a spade. 

THREE 


. . Discarding. 

FOUR . 


. . Is woman contradictory ? 

FIVE . 


. . Why do men drink ? 

SIX . . 



SEVEN 


. . “Possessed.” 

EIGHT 


. . Matrimonial ratings. 

NINE . 


. . “Absent treatment.” 

TEN . 


. . Legacy for advanced husbands. 

KNAVE 


. . A knavish cynicism. 

QUEEN 


. . The grass-widow. 

KING . 


. . The husband’s Waterloo. 



* 


ACE. . 



TWO . 


. . Woman’s vanity. 

THREE 


. . Size of the hand. 

FOUR . 

• 

. . The mo-rning after. 

FIVE . 

• 

. . Spicy reflections. 

SIX . . 



SEVEN 


. . Keeping one’s distance. 

EIGHT 


. . The door of sin. 

NINE . 


. . The American lawyer. 

TEN . 


. . The man who wont work. 

KNAVE 


. . The square deal. 

QUEEN 


. . The devil’s memorandum. 

KING . 


. . Life. 


I 















Cupid’s Silent Partner 






The lover and the card-player 
will tell you that the game can 
be lost in more ways than won. 










A kiss of the smallest# dimen- 
sions may contain the world, 
the sun, the moon, the stars, 
and — Heaven / 





— 


1 9 


Every girl regards a kiss on the 
hand as a promissory not»e. 

a 

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* 

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* 

¥ 

Woman knocks at* the door 
of Love. If Love says “ Enter '* 
she will pretend not* to hear. If 
Love pretends not* to hear, she 
mil knock again. 

1 

A 

At 




A “straight flush” 
speaks louder than 
words. 


/ 

SV 

- . _ 1 . 

( 1 

» 

It isn’t so much what a woman 

does that fascinates a man j it»*s 
what» she fyon't do. 

A 

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— i 


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/ 

\ 


* 

Cupid’s warning : There’s only 
the difference of one letter ’twixt 
pet* and pest . 

* 

»■ 

k 








If she says “I can never love 
you” —take hope. But* If she 
says “I’ll be a sister to you,” 
take your hat*. 










A good lover is not* good if 
he’s too good to be true . 



t 




I 




— 


m v 



Considering his diminutiveness, 
what, a ^ran/-shadow Cupid can 
cast,! 



A 4‘ 






























# 











As for Jealousy, Dr. Cupid 
recommends the “faith cure.” 








In the game of Love, it is often 
the Devil who wins the Jack-pot. 




7 

j 

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3 , 

* 

p 

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A woman’s heart is like a Yale 
lock. There’s but one key that 
fit*s it*. 
















The man wins a wife but loses 
his heart. The maiden wins a 
husband but* loses a friend. 











How to Land 

MONDAY 

TUESDAY 

WEDNESDAY 

THURSDAY 

FRIDAY. 

SATURDAY 

SUNDAY 


Him in a Week 


Be pretty; smile once . 

Be prettier; frown at, him. 

Be pensive ; sigh once . 

Laugh at, him. 

Confess your regard for him. 
Be “out,.” 


Name the wedding day! 






A solitaire diamond has sometimes 
cost, a woman heaven. 










5 ♦ 


When a prospective bride 
shows you her engagement ring, 
it* is (im) pertinent* to say : 
“When does it* come off?” 













In choosing a wife the diffi- 
culty is to find the ice-cream 
complexion without the crab-apple 
temper. 


r 




In the fall a young 
man’s fancy lightly 
turns to thoughts of 
breach - of - promise 
suites. 



\ 

♦♦ ♦ 


It is only the really rich man 
who can afford the luxury of 
marrying a poor girl. 








♦♦ 

\ 

♦ 

When the American marries 
an heiress he settles down; when 
the foreigner marries one, he 
settles up. 

♦ 




“ Love is blind ? ** 
Then how is it he 
always knows what 
there is in the pocket 
book? 



— 

*♦ 

J . __ 

^ 

♦ 

She “plays her cards well” who 
lets her husband beat* her at* 
poker. 

i 

♦ 

- 

♦s 

j 








All wives stand by their hus- 
bands at, the altar. But* how 
many stand by them afterwards? 



“SOMETHING 
new In lingerie” — 



Some couples have a dreary 
lot* to contend with— until they 
can afford to build a house on it. 







♦ ® \ 



In marriage the big responsi- 
bilities are the little ones. 




It** an unwise bus* 
band who "No's" 
his American wife. 


\ 



When wives desire a big check 
they should give “hubby” a big 
hug. The power of the press is 
supreme. 





































It is just when a confirmed bachelor con- 
gratulates himself on having learned the 
last* word in the Book of Woman that, 
some wistful dove-eyed maid of sixteen 
comes along and ropes him in. 




"IMITATION or 
the face of it* " — 
The other girl’s 
complexion. 


'N 



The bride should look like a 
queen , but* the groom should not 
“look like the deuce.” 









































N 



If women only knew how much 
worse we could be t*hey would 
love us more. 


















A ><» V /t *>« *V Ad* » ?A V» Va jto 

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SPADES AND RAKES 

Some men are not* at* all afraid. 
To bravely call a spade a spade* 
But, oh, the difference it* makes 
When others coolly call them 
rakes! 














A wife comes within an cAce of 
divorcing her husband, when he 
gets a raise in salary— and then 
she thinks it* over ! 











































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. 




















































































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. 


































■ 


■ 
















i * V/ ' * 








A spade Is also handy In digging 
a grave for a dead love-affair. 





— 


♦ 4 


In the game of Divorce there 
are usually “two paire” each 
havins “one to discard 


T 











;• • 









K 


\ 






Why call woman contradic- 
tory? During courtship she calls 
you her “lion; ” after marriage, 
“a beast.” Where’s the difference? 



Half a loaf is better 
t»hai\ a complete 
loaf er, saith the wife. 



Some wives wont speak a word 
to their husbands when they 
drink. Why do men drink ? 






Devotion to wife Is with some 
men indeed a " tabor of love.” 





( 

\ 

4 

♦ 

} 

When a woman declares that* 

her husband is 4 'possessed of the 
devil" she doesn’t realize what* 

she is calling herself. 

♦ 

y— 

♦? 






^ 4 ' 


The wife who over rates her 
husband in public, de rates in 
private. 



oo« 




“Misery loves 
company”— But not 
when Misery is t»he 
poor m^n and t*he 
Company a Trust* ! 




Some husbands believe that the 
only cure for their domestic ills 
is " absent treatment,.” 





Be kind to your fellowmen. 
Leave your wife <a legacy on 
condition that* she never marry 
again. 













How unfortunate that the only 
woman who will bear with your 
ways usually bores you with 
hers! 






^Wati^ii l i Vr 'nnwi ini^ 





Why isn’t* a grass- widow green ? 






7 -*&k 



Often when a husband “puts 
his foot down” he only “puts 
his foot* in it*.” 











































I 

















The Progressive Animal 

A Deadly Parallel 

(HIS FRIENDS) 


In babyhood his mother calls him . “A KITTEN.” 

When ah College he is commonly 
called . “A CALF.” 


After he leaves college, he be- 
comes, according to his friends 

In business he is referred to as . • 

In Wall Street* he is . 

In his love affairs he is . 

V 

In society he is described as . 


“A GAY DOG.” 

“A SLY FOX. 1 ' 

“A BULL.” 

“A PERFECT TIGER.” 
”A LION.” 




The Progressive Animal 
A Deadly Parallel 
(HIS ENEMIES) 


But# the neighbors call him 

. “A LITTLE MONKEY.” 

The girl*, however, term him 

. “A PUPPY.” 

According to his enemies 

. “A BEAST.” 

His competitors label him 

. “A WOLF IN SHEEP’S 
CLOTHING.” 

Just# as often .... 

. “A BEAR.” 

Others say, however 

. “A PERFECT DONKEY.” 

Varied frequently by 

. ‘THAT ASS! SMITH.” 

* 




A club is worth a great* deal to 
a man who doesn’t* feel “at* 
home” at* home. 





\ 



The average woman would 
rather own to a " double life” than 
a double chin. 





X 4 

\ 

Every woman desires 

small 

hands— except* when she is play- 

ins cards. 


* 

* . 

c 




A little cocktail 
is a dangerous thing. 


* 4 ^ 

N 

* 

It# Is bad tast#e to drink heavily 
at a banquet— Especially the next 
morning. 

* 

r 



. 


The "REFLECTIONS OF A 

MIRROR.” should make spicy 
reading ! 

T 

* ift 



1 * 



* 

Every man tries to do his best, 
—even his best, friend sometimes. 

* 

r 

♦? 

I.—— 

_ — ' 



Cultivate reserve. Keep your 
distance, especially from credi- 
tors. 






iJt* Jj* 

A 1 

Remember that you will have 
no American lawyer to appeal 
your case after you are sentenced 
by St*. Peter* 



$ 























The trouble Is that* most* of us 
who close the door against* sin— 
forget* to lock it* ! 








♦ CD 









The man who will not* work 


will work others. 














How can you expect* a square 
deal from a one-sided man? 






Whenever God makes a beau- 
tiful woman the devil jots some- 
thing down in his note-book. 



One “touch” of 
Santa Claus makes 
the whole world 




Life is a series of mis-deals. 































